Parlor Wit

Robin Williams

“God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time”

Letter to the Fundamentalists

You seem to think the whole world should worship your God and do whatever you say He wants.

Personally, I cannot worship a God who creates human beings with “free will” and then punishes them for being willful. What is the logic of giving humans a capacity for independent thought, if not for independent thinking? You would have me believe that God gave humans “free will” with the expectation that they “freely” give up that “will” in favor of slavish dependence upon Him. Why would He even create a Thinker, if He really wanted a creature with dog-like obedience? A God who would do this is irrational.

I cannot believe in a God who expects and demands that everyone conform perfectly to His standards, when He obviously created beings who, with few exceptions, are incapable of meeting His reported standards. Did He create humanity knowing that humanity would fail to meet His terms? If that was His design, no one should be punished for failing to meet His terms. If he did not expect this outcome, then He is a God to be pitied, not worshiped.

Moreover, who can meet the desires of a God whose terms have been subject to a variety of interpretations over time? Even among yourselves there have been heated disagreements about His rules and desires. Each of you claims to know the truth, but who can be certain which of you is correct?

I refuse to follow a God who has demanded blood sacrifices, perhaps even the blood sacrifice of His “Son”, in order to give His blessings to the creatures He is said to have created.

I cannot adore a hypocritical God who suffers from jealousy and causes his offspring to suffer if they fail to praise him, and him alone. Jealousy is not an admirable trait in anyone, man or God. Your God supposedly told people not to covet, when He himself is covetous of attention.

Speaking of attention, you would have me believe that God expects his children to routinely praise Him and beg for his help and forgiveness. You suggest that this is what gets His attention and results in your receiving blessings. “Prayer works,” you say. What is admirable about a God who looks for praise and begging from the creatures of His creation? I would say that such a God is vain.

I refuse to worship a God who discriminates. You say he fathered the world and everything in it. Then, you say, He decided to discriminate among the people He created and favor certain of them over others. Would you respect, admire and love any father who decided to treat some of his children better than his other children? I would not.

I refuse to worship a God who condones violence and cruelty, and even demands it for the sake of achieving His will and design. Such is the God you apparently believe in. What kind of father would condone and encourage violence and cruelty among His children? Only a tyrant.

I refuse to adore a God who would allow or inflict natural disasters and epidemics to kill the creatures He supposedly created. This is cruelty. If you could stop an accident from killing your loved ones, would you let the accident happen anyway? If the killing is purposeful on His part, is that not murder? You may believe His purposes justify His negligence and murder, but I do not see such a God as worthy of adoration.

I know you would have me believe and follow your God’s desires regardless of these objections. You would likely argue that God will condemn me to Hell for eternity if I do not. But I would not want to spend eternity with your God, either. The God you believe in is a vain, jealous, irrational, cruel, negligent, murderous, blood-thirsty, hypocritical and discriminatory tyrant. I would not suffer the company of any person with these qualities, much less a God. And, if this is your God, how can the company of Satan be worse?

Having said that, I don’t care whether you choose to worship such a God. What I fear and oppose are your attempts to pass laws, bylaws, rules and ordinances calculated to keep your God happy by forcing all of us to do what you think your God wants with respect to reproduction, education, marriage, etc. Apparently you believe that, if we don’t all do what your God wants, He will punish everyone, maybe even fly into a rage and kill people. Sorry. We may share the same country, but I refuse to share your fantasy, and I will vehemently resist your attempts to make your fantasy govern my life and the lives of others who do not share your religious beliefs.

Parlor Wit

Source

Not “Christophobia”, Theocracyphobia!

Pope Benedict and Pastor Rick Warren have complained that a hatred of Christianity, “Christophobia”, has arisen to threaten their faith. Poor souls. First they declared that their religious beliefs compelled them to condemn millions of citizens who didn’t share their beliefs. They further declared that their individual interpretations of God’s Will obliged them to try to deprive millions of citizens of various rights and freedoms. Then, when the millions of people they condemned and sought to control were outraged, the Pope and the Pastor suggested that their faith was being persecuted.

Pope Benedict, Pastor Warren, you reap what you sow. How would you feel if the government COMPELLED your followers to use contraceptive devices, DENIED them certain medical procedures, and REFUSED to let them marry, based on the beliefs of some other portion of the population? If you would not have this done to you and your followers, do not do the equivalent to the rest of us. Obviously, those of us who do not share your religious beliefs will resent your condemnation and resist your attempts to deprive us of rights and freedoms. Our protests and objections have nothing to do with Christ. Our opposition results only from your failure to follow Christ’s reported advice:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.